Cancer staggered up my brain porch during meditation today. I made a decision; not a “quick decision” because cancer was pathetically slow. It was just some cells trying to glom together and get inside my head. Unlike death, which I turned away because I didn’t want him rattling around in there and stinking things up (see 3/17/19 post), I let cancer in, knowing that no one in there was going to engage with it, and that it would soon be sitting alone in a corner, crying. Which is what it deserves really. Who does it think it is? Who does it think I am? It actually doesn’t even think at all, those pathetic little cells.
Credit: JOMFP – Some other person’s metastatic lobular breast cancer cells
Cancer’s arrival at my brain porch interrupted some important thoughts. You might say, What was she doing thinking important thoughts during meditation? Isn’t the idea to keep your mind completely clear? Well that is true, but I am also in the middle of reading about the placebo effect and how brain neuroplasticity and suggestibility can combine in a powerful way to support healing. I haven’t yet learned how to actually make that happen, just that it can happen, and I know meditation is a key part so I was jumping the gun.
I was thinking about pain from post herpetic neuralgia and fibromyalgia. I was affirming that yes, I understand how neuroplasticity works and yes, I am open to suggestion and yes, although I am a science-purist I truly believe that science doesn’t know everything, and science often disses what it doesn’t know, and maybe science will confirm* in 20 years that you can think yourself well, and I don’t want to wait 20 years so I’m going to do it now, thank you very much.
Cancer struggled up my steps and reminded me that in focusing on these nerve-related issues I am ignoring the elephant in the room – the cancer that might kill me. Well my answer to that is this: the nerve pain is what is front and center right now. It is bringing me down and to deal with the cancer I need to be up, not down.
All pain signaling comes from the brain. Today I was focusing my healing energy on telling my brain to calm down. Ssshhhh – nothing to see here….Shingles is gone so, nerves, you can stand down. My activity level is coming back so, nerves, muscles, fascia, you can relax and serve my needs again. I look at it as practice for curing myself of cancer. Those little lonely cells, crying in a corner, won’t stand a chance.
*Obviously this won’t happen until more funding for science comes from sources interested in healing not in making $$$. So it will probably be more than 20 years….