Tag Archives: Metastatic breast cancer

I Can’t Un-See The Monkey

I can’t un-see the monkey. The one that sits behind my head playing with what sounds like some sort of heavy game tiles or dice in a felted box. Every once in a while the monkey reaches forward and touches … Continue reading

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Skating Away, Skating Away, Skating Away, On the Thin Ice of a New Day

“Skating Away, Skating Away, Skating Away, On the Thin Ice of a New Day.”  It’s not that I need a theme for each phase of this. It’s just that things resonate sometimes. I was the buffalo (see May 4, 2014). Then … Continue reading

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It’s 1:56 a.m. Me and My Steroids Are Wide Awake

It’s 1:56 a.m. Me and my steroids are wide awake, so I might as well see what comes out. I brought my computer into the bedroom for this just circumstance. Here are things I’ve been thinking but not writing because, … Continue reading

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I’m Feeling the Need to Write Some Therapeutic Words

I’m feeling the need to write some therapeutic words. Re-reading some of my blog posts, it suddenly dawns on me how annoyingly optimistic I am.  I tend to start out with some dread concern, then talk myself right into things … Continue reading

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Let Go or Be Dragged

Let go or be dragged. I keep coming back to that ancient Zen proverb, mostly in relation to the daily challenges of trying to get back into shape. Should I let go of this goal? Or should I continue to … Continue reading

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There is a Multi-Ring Circus in My Brain.

There is a multi-ring circus in my brain. In the Big Top, Breathing is a ringmaster who performs perpetually, whether anyone is in the stands surrendering their awareness or not. It’s not long before the side shows draw me away. … Continue reading

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Cancer Staggered Up My Brain Porch

Cancer staggered up my brain porch during meditation today. I made a decision; not a “quick decision” because cancer was pathetically slow.  It was just some cells trying to glom together and get inside my head.  Unlike death, which I … Continue reading

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First Off, Let Me Remind Everyone

First off, let me remind everyone that you can’t control your dreams, so no judging. The only part I remember is walking up to the side of our house where the brick patio is off our kitchen and seeing a … Continue reading

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I Had a Few Eureka Moments

I had a few eureka moments the other day. I was lying in savasana when I suddenly thought: I already do these things.  “These things” are all the things you are supposed to do to avoid getting cancer.   I’ve … Continue reading

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Random Things

Random things I thought I’d share….. My CT results look great, and all 80+ cancer-related genetic mutations that they looked for in my genome were negative, including BRCA. Somatic results (tests on my tumor) aren’t back yet. Living one day … Continue reading

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